Dying
by EnigmaticArsenic
Summary: ...was going to be harder than she thought. Something of a oneshot, or maybe just a drabble.


I'm not exactly sure what this is about yet- it just sort of came to me and I had an itch to write it down. No flames- I don't care about your zealously negative opinion and will only think you are a loser in desperate need of a life or some other way to waste your time. Constructive criticism is welcome, though I'm not really sure what I'm doing with this thing, so I don't know how any suggestions might be helpful, but up to you.

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, I have a headache, but I don't have Inuyasha.

...OOO...

He would have chosen her- she knew he would have, and the other did as well. After all, his guilt over her was stronger than his love for the other. But she didn't want it, and they both knew that what she did want he was incapable of giving. Yet another reason for his guilt. But it was alright. She didn't want it, so she refused it. Didn't even let him talk, did not bother to listen. It was pointless- most things are really, if you stop to think about it- but that was beside the point. What there was to say wasn't worth the breath to say them. So she had left- no good-byes, no explanations. What was there to explain after all? It was pretty much self-explanatory, though she had to admit that he never had been one to pick up on subtleties. Well, the other one could explain it. It was no longer her problem. Never really had been.

So she left, carried off into the air by the only ones who had ever cared for her, for this false existence, the only means for her to continue it. It must have been quite a sight to see, but then again, when was she not?

Powerful. Beautiful. Ethereal. Haunting. Tragic. Cursed. Damned.

All petty words to describe a petty subject.

But what did it matter?

She had left them the jewel- she didn't need it. The girl had tried to offer it to her, told her to wish for her life naively never believing that she was the reason why that life would no longer be worth having- because she held his heart- the heart which he had once promised to her first self.

A small smile crept to her lips.

And she had taken it, pierced it through with an arrow, bound it to eternal slumber, bound it to a tree.

She laughed humorlessly. And it would have stayed there to if that girl hadn't interfered.

When she had first been revived, she had asked him- Inuyasha, to follow her back to the underworld. But he didn't. No. There was something for him up here. She didn't have anything or anyone- no one but him- Naraku. After all, the only reason she had chosen to continue this "life" was to see his demise. And now he was dead. So what was there left for her to do but follow? Her only reason- even now. The irony was not lost to her.

But fate had never been too kind to her. She didn't blame it, because that too was pointless. Fate was fate. It didn't care what you were, who you were. Didn't care that you had needs, wants, desires. But she had learned to live without such things. Well, almost. There was one thing she desired now. The only thing.

Death. Real death. Not too difficult of a thing to obtain right?

So why then was she still alive? she asked herself staring off into the star studded sky. Her phosphorescent demons snaked in the air, weaving over and under one another, keeping watch over her, but bringing no life sustaining souls. She had refused them. For several days now she took none in, and with every passing one she had felt her energy dwindle... She had thought it would have run out by now... so why was she still conscious?

And then she realized.

_That. _

She had forgotten about _that..._ that little part of her original soul still clinging to her. How could she have? It was the only thing keeping her together- though, she supposed she had taken it for granted that the girl would wish for it back. She did leave her the jewel after all. Selfish in one thing, selfless in another. Damn.

She truly was cursed, she laughed.

&&

He watched the odd sight. Even from a distance he could see her- though he found it odd that he could not feel her energy. But the glowing demons hovering above her might as well have been a lighthouse. It didn't take his keen sight to see them, though it had taken him a while to spot her lying on the grass underneath. Another oddity.

At first he thought to pass on by- she didn't seem to notice him, not that that mattered. He could have simply turned around to rejoin Jaken and Rin sleeping soundly in the campsite... but he didn't. Curiosity overcame him, and went over.

His large shadow fell over her, eclipsing the light of the moon above. She didn't move, didn't stir, but he knew she wasn't dead- though he didn't know she was hoping.

After a minute of him staring, however, her eyes finally opened slowly, and she sighed wearily at his sight but did not speak. Of course she had felt him nearby, but once again, she had taken it for granted that he would simply pass over without troubling her.

Another minute of scrutiny passed before he finally asked, "What are you doing?"

She sighed again at the need to explain, as if the answer should have been as plain as day. It irked him, but she answered, "Dying- what does it look like? Ceasing my existence, going back to hell, stop living, or however else you'd like to term it in my case."

The answer, to be honest, surprised him. Well, not so much the answer as the way in which she had answered- as if she were merely stating that she was eating, or sleeping, or any other mundane, everyday action.

Then again, he thought, dying _was_ a mundane, everyday action. He just never expected her to recognize it as such- especially when she never stayed dead before.

He kept staring at her, and finally she glared at him.

"Well?"

Frowning slightly, he asked, "And how do you suppose lying around will achieve your... goal? Looking dead and being dead aren't exactly the same."

She scowled at the insinuation.

"I know that!" she snapped. "I know you think humans are below you- but I'm not that stupid."

He frowned again, though inside he wondered why it amused him so much to bait her.

After a few more minutes, he finally prodded, "So?"

"So what?" she asked, truly bewildered and wondering why he was still there anyway. Was her death really such a spectator worthy event? She thought watching it once would have been enough to satisfy his curiosity- or anyone else's for that matter. But what did it matter...

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"About what?"

"About dying. You just said you knew it couldn't be done simply by lying down."

"I did."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So why don't you MOVE?" he finally responded, fighting very hard to keep his voice at its usual level tone- this. was. aggravating.

"..." she hesitated. "I can't," she finally mumbled, averting her eyes from his.

"You _can't_?" he was truly mystified and it was apparent.

Sighing wearily again, she explained, "I haven't taken in any fresh souls as of late, and so now my energy is completely depleted. I should _already_ be dead but unfortunately I underestimated some people... or perhaps I should say _over_estimated."

He looked down at her quizzically- or at least as quizzical as he ever allowed himself to look. Was she serious? Was she really not able to move herself?

Heaven, this was something else...

"So then?"

"So then what?"

"So then how are you going to go about dying if you can't move?"

"Oh," she fell into silence. She hadn't really given it that much thought yet. "Well, I suppose sooner or later something will come by and finish me off- I mean, there were so many eager to have my life before... though I guess that was mostly due to Naraku, and since he's gone..." she frowned in thought. "Well, maybe a wild animal might come along and attack... though I guess most are put off by my non-alive smell... or maybe a demon," but she grimaced at the thought. Out of all the things she was fine with killing her, she certainly didn't want to die at the hands of a demon- not if she had a choice anyway.

Sighing resignedly, she concluded, "Well, something's bound to happen- though I hope it's sooner rather than later, but I guess I have time to waste. Maybe the world will explode or something." Then a sudden idea hit her... why not? She was going to die anyway, and it wasn't like _he_ was just any old demon... so she asked brightly, "Hey, maybe you could help me out? I mean, you have a sword that can send people straight to _there_, right? Come on- I know you hate me." But it was a teasing comment meant to tempt than anything else.

"Who said I hated you?" he frowned and she gaped at him in awe- well, as gaping as she ever allowed herself to gape at anyone, anyway.

"I thought it was a rule or something- that everybody hate me. Isn't it?" Well, this was certainly an unexpected sort of news...

"Rin doesn't hate you," he replied matter-of-factly.

"True," she conceded. "But Rin doesn't hate anyone- I mean, she hangs around you, doesn't she?"

"So _you _hate me?"

After a brief pause to think about it, she answered, "To be honest, I never gave you that much thought."

It was insulting.

"You really want to die by my hands, don't you?" His voice was chillingly cold.

She shrugged- or would have shrugged if she could have moved to shrug.

"Not particularly, but you're the only one around. It would be convenient."

Another insult.

"I refuse to be used." It was all he said before he turned his back on her and left.

She watched him go, then diverted her eyes back to the sky.

Oh well, so much for that...

...OOO...

Yeah, it started out a little dark and serious, but suddenly _this _happened. I don't know... tell me what you think.. Or not- up to you. (And for anyone who happens to be reading **Cold**- I will continue with it, but I was in odd sort of mood today and didn't want it to end up like the above example.)


End file.
